I go by the name Veratonia I’m a 19-year-old girl however I’m not like everyone else, I suffer from a chronic pain illness that is currently being diagnosed.
I’ve been bedridden since I was 11-years-old so I don’t have very many memories of better times; the few I have I hold onto with my life. Every day since then I have a huge amount of pain in my entire body, most of the time makes me unable to walk without support from someone, most of the time my boyfriend whose the sweetest man who sticks with my through this ordeal. Normal 19 year old’s are at the prime-time in their life partying and just finishing school. I had to quit it because I could only attend 15% of the time in all the classes which made it impossible to pass anything. What I do right now?
I’m waiting to be diagnosed. I have huge stress over finding out what could be wrong with me. Of course your mind goes to all the bad places. However I have hope that it’s nothing serious. I have had enough suffering throughout my life. And the joy of finding out that it’s nothing would be the most wonderful feeling in the world.
The reason I decided to start a blog was to express my emotions; I do it very well through writing however English is not my first language so bare with the mistakes. To express the joy when those days comes and when hell breaks lose to have somewhere of my own.
Today is not a good night for me; on a scale from 1 to 10 I’m at 8 with my painkiller. It’s so unbearable I can’t sleep, I can’t focus on anything it feels like I just sit… I just sit and wait for it to pass. It has been a long day with taking EMR and now the one week waiting for the results.
There are few things I am capable of doing due to the pain; things that you can sit down and do it all that works. I love writing, painting, reading and foremost playing video games. To escape into a different reality where I am not sick is a wonderful thing for me. I can be someone else for a while. I don’t have to be the girl who is sick; who everyone feels bad for. There I am powerful, it is my world.
Role playing games are my favorites; the likes of Dragon age and The Witcher are just amazing games that I think everyone should play. Apart from those I’m very into horror movies and games. The feeling of fright is something quite unique that I can’t say I dislike, it’s so rarely I feel it; but it feels like I’m alive.
I believe this is enough of an intro. Have this beautiful artwork:)